No, you can still breathe under the balls.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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