So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
home. puking in laundry basket.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
