I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
