Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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