So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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