I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
