The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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