New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize