before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
