he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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