giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My penis needs a shock collar
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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