can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
