don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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