you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
