I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
