There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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