if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
