the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
