the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
