You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
