Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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