Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
