We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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