Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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