I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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