he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
