Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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