I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
