So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
