Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
