none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You may now shotgun with the bride
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
