I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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