at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
