Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
