just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
