Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
