operation have a gay friend backfired
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
