lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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