Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
