can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
