I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Too much gin, very little bucket
stop calling my apartment porn island.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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