it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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