My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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