i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I am naked and annoyed.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
