He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
please come you make the beer taste better
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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