"it" just moved
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
