It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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