this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
