Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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