how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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