pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
this will be a night to untag.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
