I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
