Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
