i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Do vagina's smell?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Randomize
