it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
