i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
