I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
