I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
My vagina is very pro this idea
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
