sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
