Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize