we're blogging at a bar
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
