Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
