Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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