never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
