Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
