1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Randomize
