I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
