I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
