bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize