from now on my penis is your penis
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
