a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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