you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
