True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
