Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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