happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
