i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
