I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
