I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
